A Life of Black and White
by YagamiNoir
Summary: My life was but an empty void...until I met him. That beautiful darkness that changed my world forever. A Noir/Roda POV view of slightly altered events of the manga and Letter Bee Reverse.
1. Prologue

~ Prologue ~

I don't remember much. I awoke, with no memory, no purpose, no name. All I remembered was that I ran. Ran from that terrible place, a living hell. All was death and despair, and anguish. Bloodied corpses. The bitter cold of the tainted water. I was lucky. I ran and ran, and managed to escape, taking the traumatic scars of my life with me. That's what the government is. Utter monsters, ruthless in taking lives for the sake of their own ambitions, I could not bear tears admist all of my sorrows. There was no space for another crack in my already shattered heart. And all at my own childhood ages.

I wondered - if there was anyone like me. Scarred, hurt, different and unwanted. That was until _he_ found me. Lawrence. A man who bore the same scars as I did, and his lust for revenge and power further intrigued me in that how severe his own experience was. He was rather charismatic, calm and collected, but in all ambitious. He gave us food, shelter and what was perhaps pity and compassion.

He led me to his organization known as Reverse, where I'd discovered he'd been collecting others like us - others with the same scars, and other government rebels to counter against the government. Reverse.

Revenge. Retribution. Things too complex me to understand, emotion never a thing I knew up until now. Since that day, serving Reverse was my purpose in my empty life.

I strolled alone that day, accompanied by only the mildest of twilight and rarest of the skyward lights. The gurggling streams of the flowing river beside me was a pool of a murky gray and black, unpure and filthy, at times displaying vague, but visible traces of sanguine. The Rosie River - the river of death, as some say, and that of I've experienced . I halted my feet and stared at the rather horrifying sight ahead of the black, oblong stacks of rocks near the hill sculptures.

There was that fallen man, white Albisian hair tainted by the bloodied, intoxicated filth of the river, bruised and injured all over, the human skin barely recognized, tainted by the scarlet blood that reeked by sight and smell, as I sensed the unmistakable metallic tang. He wasn't like most - he was still a full man, as I detected the slightest hint of a struggle and silent gasps escaping through his final threads of life that he clinged on. He needed help - he was in a bad shape, yet still alive. And I knew what I had to do.

I rushed to Lawrence as he and his men arrived to the scene. It was a rare occasion in which Lawrence was ever so exceptionally excited and thrilled, devoid of either anger or the cold calmness that formed his demeanour. He praised me for stumbling upon this injured man, again another rare occasion - _Gauche Suede_, he told me. A man that of Lawrence harbored keen interest for a while now, giving me subtle mentions of his name and other things I never really managed to understand. What I mostly found odd was that why he wanted a Bee to work for him - more of less manage to persuade him to serve his desires to one day overthrow the Amberground government, in which he was to work for extensively once he'd be promoted to Akatsuki. He was taken to the church and attended to by the medical units, relieving me of the suffocating view of the sanguine, black and blue that was all over him, laying for hours unconcious on one of the church beds. I was assigned by Lawrence to watch over the bandaged casualty with him, as I waited beside the bed, Lawrence veiled by the darkness as I spent endless hours watching - I felt no boredom, no irritation. And there was the needle of stubborn curiosity bothering me.


	2. Chapter 1: Meeting Him

** First Noir, then Roda's POV.**

A glint of light awakened me as I opened my eyes, unsure of my surroundings, unsure of anything. Everything stood vague, my head empty with anything I could manage to think of or remember, as if I had no memory. I presumed from the familiar cross on the wall adjacent the bed I lay on, the only comfort amidst my turmoil and perplexity that I was perhaps in a church. The inevitable questions began to surface - _where was I_? And above all, _who was I_?

"_Your hand_," There was a feminine, soft voice of a child, perhaps the first words and sound I've ever heard. Tilting my head aside fighting a mild pang of pain, I collected the features of a little girl beside me, extending a fair-skinned, small hand at me. Around her neck encircled a pink scarf and she was featured with white attire as pure as her neck-length hair, an expressionless exterior with purple eyes. I accepted the hand with my own weak, shivering limb - it was warm, caressing against the cold of my skin, as I sat up on the bed. There was a sudden pang of pain in my head, as I clenched my fingers against thick strands of my Albisian hair - the pain as if hammers attempting to crush my skull - curious questions echoing, difficulty in recalling anything related. _What is my identity_?

"_Who... am I_?" I beseeched these words involuntarily, the words escaping through my mouth bitterly as I asked inside my heart as well, desperate for anyone who knew an answer.

"You're awake, is it?" Another distant voice, embodied in the shadows called out to me. There was the shadow of a man sitting a distance away from where we were at, revealing only a satisfied, sly smile.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"It seems you've forgotten," The man crooned casually. "I am Lawrence. _Gauche Suede_, let us rejoice in the blessing of your safe return."

"Who is...Gauche Suede?" I stammered, falling and bracing the cold and pain on top of my wounded body as I fell from the bed, into the cold, hard surface of the ground.

"_Pitiful_," The figure arose from his seat, revealing himself as he slowly took a few steps into the light, revealing a slender man with long hair trailing through his torso, his right eye tainted with unfamiliar scars, his fingers brushing against the the barren surface of his skull-tipped cane. "Not only the memories of your mother, but your entire heart is gone now, is it?"

Is this who I am? Gauche Suede? I don't remember anything...

"But even admist your tragic fate, you must be joyous." He said. "You shall recreate this world in concert with us. As the sole survivor from the depths of the light."

"..._Light_?" I muttered, the letters of the word separating in pauses. Was it this "light" that made me like this?

_Who was this man? What was he talking about? _The befuddlement that enveloped me was ruthless, the hammers in my head giving me no room to think or interpret anything properly. I didn't know what to do, where to go, or why I was here. I wanted answers.

* * *

"From this day forward, this girl will be responsible for looking after you." Lawrence said, as I knew I was given a command - here on, I was to be under him, this person named Gauche, and stay by his side. "She was born in the same place I used to live," He departed back into the church halls, leaving another ambitious smile I'd seen for nearly all my life, as if it would always look the same. "Use her as you so wish."

And just like that, I had a new purpose in life. I stared at the perplexed Albisian man with, mild, bitter curiosity welled up in my heart as I glanced at the desperate look in his turmoiled eye staring at Lawrence as he vanished into the darkness of the church. I turned a brief look at my palm, recalling the feeling as our fingers first caressed each other - his arms were delicate, but cold, cold as his empty heart. And I could only wonder what would await me in my life serving this amnesiac, empty man who lost his heart in the feared and despicable depths of the light._ Gauche Suede_.

**Disclaimer: I don't own TB.**


	3. Chapter 2: Reverse

Chapter Two: Reverse

I was given a change of black robes - they were comfortable, and they fit me well, hiding my torso completely under the thick, black cloth. Stepping out of the resting rooms, the girl guided me into the main hall of the church, silently awaiting at a corner of an old, patterned wall. The place was crowded, yet somewhat silent, the people in wait, some whispering amongst each other. I stared at the far picture that stood on the opposite wall, where the people were focused at. A being - winged, as if an angel; tears from closed eyes. A being of worship, perhaps? I paid it no heed, eliminating the final moment of interest, turning to the girl.

"Is this...a church?" I asked.

"Here in Amberground, only a scarce and selected few are chosen to the capital, Akatsuki, indulging in the privilege of the artificial sun." She began, my first strand of information of this world. "As the distance travels away to the outer regions of the country, the more poverty and darkness there is."

"Why does such an unfair system exist, unrebelled?"

"The government decides everything," She murmured. "You once served that government - as an official government postal worker; a Bee."

"I was...like that?" So I was once working for this unfair dictatorship of a government? Delivering posts from place to place - perhaps in ignorance of the malicity behind everything?

I was interrupted by footsteps, watching as the man, Lawrence - standing from the upper levels of the church - ready to make an announcement.

"Soon! The time for us to arise and stand up will come!" Lawrence was at the peak of his tone, "We will strike down the arrogant and conceited fools in Akatsuki, and create a new world of equality!"

"Look!" He pointed his staff towards me, as the crowds turned, surrounding me with amazed, perplexed looks, gasps of surprise combining.

"That man is the sole survivor that returned from the light. "He declared. I remained silent, indifferent. I didn't understand, but I didn't need an immediate answer as well. "He is power bestowed onto us!"

_Reverse! Reverse! Reverse_! Repeated cheers enveloped the vicinity, cheers of malice. Resent. Revenge. Retribution.

I replied with only silence and a mild pang of curiousity, veiled by the patience in me that pressed my desire for everything I wanted to know. The world is but an unfair place, I thought.

* * *

We spent the late afternoon at the stacks of hills distancing themselves from the Hill of Prayer, grasping a view of the artificial sun, as I would on occasion. He wanted to see the light that took away his heart - and we spent endless moments gazing at the bright, spiked sphere, indulging in the light in the midst of the deep darkness.

"I lost my heart in that light." He told me, as I pondered - what is it like to have a heart lost? Voided of what it used to be, stolen by the light...

"That's right - I've yet to ask you your name." He breathed, as soft as the passing winds, the rhythm guiding the dancing sways of our white hair.

_"I have no name." I_ replied, my voice slightly softer compared to anyone I repeated these words to. I didn't know why, but he was different than anyone I've ever met.

There was a brief silence, as I turned to him, curious of his response. My eyes collected him uninjured; there was but a scar slashing the right side of his cheek, curtained by strands of thick, white sideburns, but all I saw then was a calm, warm face. It intrigued me mildly, as he stared at me with mildly surprised eyes - looking at his purple eyes again, they were warm, intense, and compelling, as if they smiled. "Then you and I are the same." His lips curved into a smile, barely detectable. He was a fine man, I thought. _Gauche Suede_...

"I have a favour to ask." He suddenly said, gazing towards the western lands, leading to the Yuusari outskirts. "Can you show me - myself; and where I once lived as Gauche Suede?"


	4. Chapter 3: Gauche Suede

Chapter Three: Gauche Suede

And so the final moments of the evening began as we walked in endless silence, accompanied by only the sound of our footsteps clashing against the rocky grounds, traversing through places that belonged to me - or rather, to Gauche Suede. I hooded myself, as to not reveal myself or appear recognizable to anyone, deciding to recapture the scenes of this world anew. A short walk from the hills led us to a cross implanted into the ground, near one of the cliffs - it stood, old and vertically slanting. _My mother's grave,_ the pale girl told me - resisting the surprise enveloping me in how much they knew my former identity, she told me of Lawrence's tales of me to her; how my mother died giving birth to my sister named Sylvette, paraplegic and that of Lawrence was willing to provide a cure for her, but refused by Gauche. Telling me how he always set sights on my capabilities. And how I lost part of my heart, the only portion that kept my memory of her.

We reached Yuusari Central, the middle-class society of the country, after a distant, slightly tiring walk. The city was comfortable, and modern - furnished by adequate and modern, enjoyable facilities, illuminated by spots of yellow lights, dignified, and not as bad as I'd imagined. Travelling here, I learnt of the gatekeeping system, bridges linking the districts guarded by two blind, Albisian twins, or at least as the rumours say. What stood out in the city was the building known as the Hive - the Bee Hive, the Letter Bee Headquarters, that of the girl had told me of, my former occupation. Distantly I collected the signature features of gold glitter adorned on dark blue uniforms and lengthy scarves around their necks, each with bags filled with letters to deliver. Thoughts ran across my head, curiosity in what these people were, these Letter Bees - and how I was one of them. I stared at the Hive blankly, eliminating the final traces in my head - I wasn't interested, nor did I find it important for me to know. I turned away, not wanting to linger near the place any longer, as she followed.

I decided to leisure in a short walk before departing the district, treading alone as we separated ways, as I strolled in the darker lanes, linking shops and small households established on the sides of them. The silence in my walk was pierced as I distantly I heard the rolling sound of a wheelchair coming from afar - I caught the intriguing sight of a girl, the smoke white hair similar to mine and her twinkling eyes a beautiful azure, an adorable smile on her face as she rolled on the same path, opposite of where I was going. _Could this be her?_ I thought. My sister, Sylvette? Everything fit in - paraplegic, hair akin to mine, and with resemblance. She didn't notice me as we crossed our paths, each of us headed for different destinations. I stole a final glance at her from the corner of my eye veiled by the black hood covering my head, and indifferently continued on my way, through my final desires and moments of the city.

His life was thick, and interesting, but I felt no interest, no accomplishment, no care. Whatever I was - _he_ was - didn't matter, never would matter. I departed Yuusari then, a mix of disappointment and accomplishment as my curiosity was satiated. I didn't know how I felt about that, apart that it was pointless.

_I'm not going back. _

* * *

We departed Yuusari, as I took the black-clad man to remnants of irrelative places of the country, I told him how I found him, fainted and unconscious in this place - or rather, a small distance away from where we were at. The cliffs of Caberlin linked to the Rosie River, as we continued our journey with towering, cliff-like rocks surrounding the sides.

"I was fallen in Caberlin?" He asked me. "Here, the place where the Rosie River flows just a distance ahead?"

"Lawrence said you came from the light." I said, as if I was repeating something, as I noticed a mild befuddlement surface upon him. "I found you there," I pointed at the distant spot I found him at as we coincidentally reached it, catching the sight of the tainted water and the stones that lay aside of it, reminiscing the disgusting sight of his bloodied, bruised posterior, helpless and unattended as it lay on the granite. "You had collapsed."

"I see. Thank you." There was his smile again, soft and warm. "It is because of you that I am alive."

It was a first - to be thanked. I felt hot and unusual, my cheeks heavier, a mild pang of indescribable discomfort - perhaps embarrassment - washing over me.

I stopped. There was a faint breathing - a struggle for life. Silent, barely detectable - but I heard it.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"I heard something." I murmured.

He followed me as I searched for the source of the odd sound. We entered the nearby cave, walking for a few moments in the darkness before the light surfaced, reaching a lake. There we found _that_ creature - another one like me, a tormented, disposed experiment. A girl, beautiful, but anguished and short-breathed, her rear a fish's tail, as if a mermaid. Scales caressing a side of her head and cheek, her breathing growing thinner and dimmer as we watched, empty of any astonishment - he stood, calm as he would ever be. Fearless. Cold, collected and fearless. The girl reminded me of the horrible memories as my head and heart stung secretly inside - the sorrow, fear and pain, umpteenth and fruitless to my empty heart, welled up slightly, as if it was revived by them and repeating the experience of the pain they struck.

Another one, I thought. No matter how much they were, perhaps I couldn't ever get enough of them. "She must have escaped." I whispered, hiding the bitterness in my tone, my look. "From that place."

"This is-"

"Akatsuki runs experiments," I explained, fighting against my fear for once, telling him everything. Lawrence would likely tell him of his presumed and mpre bitter experience regardless, but I found myself deciding that I wanted this man to know, to see how he would respond, and what he would do. He deserved to know. "Combining all manner of things with humans, in an attempt to create spirit."

"But most, if not all - were failures. And they were all discarded and disposed of. Only a few survive for long."

"_And you escaped_," He said slowly, emphasizing the words. "From here, didn't you?"

I didn't respond. I wasn't comfortable in telling him of the tragic things I went through. I stroked the woman's auburn hair, the cold skin of her scaled forehead, the final threads of life cut from and escaping her. How much lives have I seen like this? I pondered, never to know the answer, for it was a number too much for me to ever count.

"At the very least," He muttered, as I sensed the compassion in his words, "Let us give her a proper grave."

"Yes." I breathed.

It was simple, as he brought the body outside, digging a sizable hole to accommodate the corpse, stacking fractions of nearby granite and rocks as a final touch. His face was expressionless through the whole journey, no emotion, no color. As if the world never mattered to him - much like myself, tormented with only small purpose and a broken past.

And now - he knew most of everything. Who he was, what happens in this cruel unfair world, about them. About _me_. What was he going to do?


	5. Chapter 4: Names, Anew

Chapter Four: Names, Anew

We returned to the church where Reverse established one of their bases, into the same moment not long ago, into the same room I awoke; with the bed, the cross on the wall, the cold, dusky atmosphere, and just the three of us, me, the girl, the man named Lawrence.

"Gauche," He began, handing me an old fashioned gun. "It's time I returned this to you. Your heart bullet gun, Gymnopedie." I surveyed the weapon - it was old, but still stable and usable. A heart bullet gun - a weapon that fires a fragment on your heart. It was black, the spirit amber equal a dark colour. The gun was sleek, and delicate, and I grew fond of the weapon easily - tightening my grip on the weapon aroused my entirety with power, power I've never really known before - can an empty heart fire?

"Even if your memories don't return," He explained, as he began his footsteps leaving the room, perhaps to attend to other matters. "So long as your heart recovers, you should be able to fire a heart bullet again. At at the time-"

Firing a heart bullet. I didn't know how I knew, but I instinctively knew the trick to it. I focused my heart as the gun surged with energy, the spirit amber aglow with white light - the light of the heart. A few moments passed before a burst of energy shot from the gun, at the ground. Nothing came out - no memories, no content. It was utterly empty. Lawrence stopped as he turned back at me, as the girl stood expressionless, unchanging.

"_Tell me,_" I watched the final traces and echoes of the first heart bullet I fired diminish into the hard ground, staring into space, again beseeching an answer. "_What should I do_?"

"_Wonderful_." He cried, excited, as I wondered - why was my ability to fire a heart bullet needed? "Just wonderful, Gauche!"

"_Stop that._" I muttered bitterly, turning to the man. "Never use that name again."

"_Gauche Suede no longer exists._" What is lost cannot be brought back. Gauche Suede is lost in the light. I am but his mere shadow, his body. But my heart is empty. Of purpose, of memories, of anything. The one thing that has defined him has ceased to be - his heart, which was no longer mine. And I do not want him to affect who I was now.

There were a small silence, before Lawrence broke into strident cackles - he was a man of ambitious desire.

"Then I shall give you a name." He told me, a ravenous, ambitious smile, tempered by excitement spreading on his face. "Your name is _Noir." _He gave me my new name, and my new role._ "_My plunderer, my Marauder!"

_Noir. _

"_Noir,_" I enunciated, relishing the word, and instinctively found it befitting, recognizing the meaning. "_Darkness?_" Darkness, like this world, this cruel world that is cursed by the light of hierarchical society, as the less fortunate bitterly suffer.

"That's right," I breathed, coldly. The light stole my heart, voiding me in the darkness, black as the robes I wore and the emptiness that was in me now. As much as I didn't know what that light was other than an artificial sun, I held a secret anger, a secret grudge, facading my expressionless features. My purpose now - is to fight against the light, the light of despair. "Light is but my enemy."

And now I had a name, and I had a purpose. My name is _Noir_. Noir, a Marauder for Reverse.

* * *

Lawrence had given the mysterious man the name _Noir_ \- darkness. Lawrence knew that he was a great asset to him as a capable, strong fighter, and things went to plan for him - and as much as it affected him, it affected me as well. As we spent the next morning watching the sun from the same spot the former evening, surveying the light of the synthetic sun, I pondered upon his new identity, how special he was, to have purpose at an immediate place, to be blessed with a useful role even with this heart lost, unlike myself. I began to be fond of him, as there was a sweetness and warmth that he gave me that relieved the bitterness in my heart slightly. There were his I'd spent bitter times, living in a void with no purpose, or name, a small supporter for Reverse, for Lawrence. There was mild envy, but I didn't show it, and decided to brush that thought away from me quickly.

"You don't have a name too, right?" He asked me, his voice soft, devoid of the previous coldness. "Shall I give you a name?"

"Yes." I said, as I felt slightly relieved. It didn't matter what I was called - I didn't know what it felt like to have a name, but I felt glad - Noir saw me differently unlike anyone else. Not a tool, not a monster. Not a nobody.

"_Roda_," He murmured slowly, as if teaching me, a child how to pronounce a new, but simple word. "Would that be alright? _Roda_ \- I don't know what it means, but it simply came to mind."

It fit me, I thought. Instinctively a tinge of satisfaction welled up upon me, a feeling I rarely, if ever had. The name had purpose; and the name had meaning. _That's my name now,_ I promised myself on that day. _Roda_, I tested the word as my lips pronounced the subtle word, as he smiled again, that faint, warm smile that could melt my heart if I stared at it any longer - as I replied him with what was my first time a smile of my own, feeling my lips curve out of my control. I felt _treasure_d - I felt needed. And perhaps things would be better. With him.

And from that day forward, we had our names, and we had our purposes in our lives. _His name is Noir. And my name is Roda._

**Shoutout to Bree for reviewing everything I write. You're awesome.**

**Standard disclaimer: I don't own Tegami Bachi. **


	6. Chapter 5: Floral Scent

Chapter Five: Floral Scent

It had been a week since I'd been in Reverse. I adapted to the ways of the world quickly, recognizing most of the country's history. The forbidden capital, Akatsuki, and Lawrence's - Reverse's - target of retribution. What lies there - that of something no one other than the residents there claim to know - and that of Lawrence tells me I've been and knew before, and that of I have since forgotten, my heart stolen by the wretched light; the artificial sun. Gaichuu; voided, armoured insects, poor souls and empty shells, attracted to heart, savaging and endangering the lands, only vulnerable to heart itself - or rather, a heart bullet, weapons by primarily Letter Bees, the government postal workers.

The people who suffered - termed as "one who could not become spirit" - experiments, Lawrence, Roda, countless others, survivors gathered by Reverse. There was something special about them; as far as I've met and observed them, combined and reminiscent of traces of animal and plant, flora and fauna - they had visible traces, not merely by appearance, but by skill and instinct as well - with reflexes of animals with sharp senses, for instance. Yet Roda, and Lawrence - they were completely human and normal, aside from the scar that caressed his right eye - or was there more to them that I could actually know? My curiosity lay adamantly inside my head, as decided to resist my temptation to scavenge for answers - as far as I deserved them and wanted to know of them more. And inside my empty heart a pity began to well for them; bitterness and anguish carved in their memories, their feeble hearts desiring only revenge and agony.

_Revenge. Retribution._ But, would that really make everything better? Is this for a simple revenge? Or to truly cleanse this world of the filth known as ambitious greed, the tyrannical rule of the government?

I was an amnesic man, and I took care not to let myself be manipulated completely, not to let anyone completely fill my goblet with their own brewed wine. I wasn't a tool, my empty vessel waiting to be shaped by people I didn't know. I am my own man - no one else would have a say in that.

Yet it began to come upon me. Lawrence had made me his Marauder, to work for him. To steal. To plunder. For Reverse's purpose. For a world of true equality. Perhaps this would be my purpose in life, something I would eventually undertake instead of spending too much time realizing who I was aimlessly. Having established my new identity, my new heart, which I in honesty didn't find important - I had my life waiting for me, things I had to do instead of nothing. And perhaps Reverse was my first step.

And then there was _her_, and her scent - Roda's scent. It didn't come to me now until I'd spent a fair bit of time with the girl, but as she always followed me and guided me with the ways and places of this world, a floral scent seemed to waft - it was soothing and relieving, cleansing the bitter taint as we would always walk along the Rosie River, making being with her itself a calm, pleasant leisure.

And a connection began to establish - perhaps destined. _I cared for her_, I found myself realizing. _I cared for her, and her scent._

* * *

Noir had been with me for a week since he awoke and we first met. He'd named me - Roda - a name I found fond and enjoyed, just as I enjoyed Noir himself. We walked along the tainted Rosie River as we usually would, in search of possible survivors. There was more leisure walking with him as I came to enjoy the days with him more than most. His presence was comforting and warm, despite the coldness on the outside. He would give me smiles he wouldn't give to anyone else, as if they were only meant for me. Never before had I felt like this with someone, not even Lawrence - Noir was _special_.

He suddenly stopped, as I paused, too, for endless moments, staring at him. There was no curiosity latched at my lips to ask him why - merely silence. And he turned to me - with another compelling smile on his face.

"I just noticed," He began. "Everytime we go through this place, or perhaps even everywhere we go - there is always the faint, fragrant scent of a flower. Could it be you?"

I began to feel fuzzy, my cheeks heavy. I imagined the pink on them beginning to reveal itself. My eyes darted away from him, as I felt a drop of sweat slither through my neck.

"You're quite a shy one, aren't you?" He said, perhaps adding humour in the comment, his smile hiding amusement.

He kneeled down, as if observing me. His violet eyes were as bright as the sun - they were hard to look at directly, intense, yet warm. The discomfort continued, as he didn't move much but I knew he secretly breathed - to affirm his presumption. That I had this flowery scent. He was the very first to complement it other than Lawrence, and I found that rather odd.

"So it is you." He said, smiling again. "Do you frequently adorn yourself with perfume?"

"_No,_" I finally managed a small murmur. "I am one who cannot become spirit. Lawrence said I was mixed with a flower."

"Is that so?" He said, in wonder, as if I answered a question unknowingly, a small doubt, barely detectable in his gaze diminishing. He turned to a nearby rock along the stream, noticing the trace of a beautiful purple flower, petals spreading in five directions, a sightly scene in a cold, deserted wasteland.

_Life in this wasteland?_ I thought. A flower, small, yet lovely - growing here. Noir approached the flower, closing his eyes as he gathered the heavenly scent.

"The flower shares the same scent as yours." He plucked the beautiful flower from the ground, placing it on my ear. "Ephemeral, pure."

I began to shiver - unknowingly. I didn't know if I was nervous, afraid, of cold of the gusty winds that blew abnormally strongly today, my face feeling like it would burn off and my heartbeat attempting to escape the prison of my chest.

"Is something wrong?" His fingers caressed my white hair - his hands were warm.

I remained silent.

"There is nothing to fear, Roda. " He said. "I will do nothing to harm you. I promise."

Why? Why did he care so much? Like no one before - Noir pitied me. He didn't reject me - he cared for me like no one else would. Yet this fuzziness was positive, and inside I felt pleasant, as the shivering stopped, my face still a bright red. I liked the way he called me my name, I found.

I watched his smile - as the fear and nervousness melted away, as I felt my lips curve in a smile yet again.

In such a short amount of time with him, I knew could trust this person. _Noir._

**Perhaps based on someone I cherish.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own TB.**


	7. Chapter 6: A Fated Meeting

Chapter 7: A Fated Meeting

It had been almost four years since I'd served Noir. I was now seventeen, Noir being six years older than me. Noir's Albisian hair lengthened to cover his ear over the years. He'd not cut it for a long while, saying it was unnecessary. Noir's addition to Reverse seemed very influential; Lawrence had a good eye watching over him, as his skill needed in many of our activities was quite invaluable. Noir's heart was strong - very strong - in power and in resilience. Throughout our days spent together on Reverse's missions, Noir would take out hordes of Gaichuu when necessary - for me, and for survivors. Survivors like me and Noir, remnants from the cruel clutches of the Amberground government that we would gather in his stead. Lawrence had been collecting more and more of them all this while, in preparation of his revolution - our revolution.

I reminisced two years ago, where I was alone in that room with Lawrence, talking about Noir. Since then, Noir was essentially a part of my life, my service to him habitually clinging on me like the habit of hardworking bees and their never-ending search for nectar. Lawrence introduced me to the term, "dingo" - it was who I was, and at that the time, I could do more than just be a companion and guide; Lawrence told me if I were to be of use to him, I needed to learn how to fight. Noir was taking bigger jobs since then, such as stealing letters and going to risky places in search of survivors. He told me about Gauche's dingo - that, to his knowledge, shared the same name - and how she fought alongside him in every thick and thin they went. It was something I wanted to do - to be of use to Noir in any way I can, and to continue under him, under his understanding, and his cold strength from a deceptively warm and gentle heart.

That day, Noir and I were venturing the rocky routes east of the Rosie River, linking to the paths nearby Honey Waters. The area was quiet; our footsteps barely scratched the silence, the black, dull surroundings furnished by a hail of dandelion spores. I decided to scout from above, leaping onto the towering, granite pillars scattered across the area, eventually losing sight of Noir blended in the shadows, unseen from the height of where I was at. We continued our separate search for either survivors or Letter Bees holding letters, my mind holding the same, stale curiosity wondering what we would find today.

I detected movement nearby - eventually stumbling upon a young female leaping from the structures like I was. Her golden hair trailed to her feet in two pigtails, with pink attire and aqua-blue, staring eyes. Above her head was a creature in white fur, one I didn't recognize. I remembered - the events in Honey Waters I decided to watch alone when I separated briefly with Noir. I told him we'd find a venturing Bee here, and it seems I was correct. This girl, this dingo - she was a careless one, I thought; she was naive and ignorant of a dingo's prime duty of protecting her own master. Honey Waters was known for it's toxic fluids, and their was false belief behind them; the girl had suffered after she drank the water, and had failed to protect her master when he was needed the most. It was mistake I knew I wouldn't make.

"Are you not supposed to be a dingo who protects her employer?" I escaped from my thoughts and approached her, knowing that despite her flaws, she had a special power. "To think you carelessly drank the dangerous water and failed to save him at such a critical moment...you're a failure of a dingo."

"Who are you?" She turned, detecting my presence.

"My fellow dingo...my name is Roda. Allow us to pass...a little time together."

"Niche is Lag's dingo! I'm not a failure! Lag has only one dingo, me!"

I paid no heed to her nonsense. I guessed that Noir had probably detected the Letter Bee nearby, the Albisian boy that was her master.

"I don't understand you." I leapt into the air and engaged, as she dodged. Her hair hardened into blades, scraping off rubble from the sculptures. She was powerful, but she wasn't very tactful. She lashed at me carelessly and aggressively - dodging her attacks was fairly easy, taking little to no effort. Powerful as she was, she wasn't a skilled fighter. Eventually, I found an opening, and - with a simple slash of my blade - I managed to scar her forehead. Frankly, I was surprised by her resilience despite her child-like, frail exterior. She was the child of Maka - from the stories I'd sometimes hear from Lawrence, this being a tale of a creature with aqua-blue eyes, and golden, sword-like hair. She wasn't as big of a threat as I expected.

"I'm angry now," She uttered, covering her wound. "I'll get you!"

"You are very quick," I critiqued. "But you rely solely on brute strength. Is that all one is to expect from the Child of Maka?"

"That's not all! Just you wait!"

"You'd leave your master unguarded?" I asked - it seems she was distracted by me she'd forgotten, and I knew I'd hit a nerve. "Protecting one's master is everything for a dingo."

I heard a familiar burst distantly, with a black, flashy light from below the nearby rocks. Another job done, I thought, as I turned and watched Noir fire his heart bullet, knocking the young boy to the cold, hard ground. I was mildly surprised Noir had to use force against a child; Noir wasn't one for violence, more or less to someone as frail and inexperienced as he was. And this girl - Niche - she had failed her duties as a dingo.

"You really are a failure as a dingo." I lambasted my final words, keeping my tone low. My job was done, and there was no need to waste time on her any longer. I skipped from the rocks and back to Noir's side.

* * *

Time crept through our fingers like sand. Before I knew it, I had served Reverse for four years. I habituated myself with the ways of a Marauder, under the stewardship of Lawrence, the ringleader of the organization. Marauders were beings of plunder - throughout my life with Reverse, as Noir, I had stolen from people. I'd wounded people in doing so. But it didn't guilt me - it was all for the revolution that was to come. A world of equality, waiting to be constructed by us. The resentment in me stayed and flourished - every now and then I'd collect survivors astray from different places; beings like myself, like Lawrence and Roda. It had been my purpose since to protect them - who have been disposed of nonchalantly like garbage, tormenting pasts engraved in their soul and memory.

Amongst all changes in my life, Roda was likely what had changed the most. Watching her young self seemed like only yesterday, and looking at her now, she'd blossomed into quite the fine young adult, beautiful, and strong. She'd been with me for as far as everything I can remember; a friend, and companion. I would amuse myself was the sight of her a few years back, training - she said she wanted to be my dingo, to be there to support me in more perilous jobs, such as fighting gaichuu. The two of us worked in concert rather potently; she was definitely a great help throughout the missions we'd settle together.

We were on a mission again, bound by our usual task of collecting survivors, and letters. Roda told me she had spied on Honey Waters, telling me that Bees were bound to pass here eventually. She separated from me, into the skyward pillars of stone, as I continued to search from below, progressing amidst the silence of my surroundings.

The sound of nearby footsteps collected my attention; Roda seemed to be correct, as I identified the familiar blue of a Letter Bee uniform, worn by a young, Albisian boy, hair slightly paler than mine. He didn't seem like someone I needed much of myself to plunder from. I took him by surprise from behind, grabbing hold of the letter he was holding.

"I will now rob you of this letter as per the instructions of my client." I muttered, snatching the letter. "Thank you for your understanding."

"Gauche!" Running footsteps followed behind me. "You're alive - you're alive, Gauche!"

_Gauche? This boy knows Gauche Suede? _I thought, however ignoring him.

"It's me, Lag Seeing! You delivered me as a letter five years ago! It's me, Lag Seeing!"

I stopped.

"You remember me...right? I...I wanted to be like you, so I came to the Hive and became a Letter Bee. I've finally become one, Gauche!"

_Lag Seeing. _The name was...indescribable, for some reason. It was familiar, but very vaguely; His words awakened memories of my former life - memories that I've since thrown away. Odd as the strings of fate dictated my meeting with someone that knew of my former self, I paid him no heed. Gauche Suede no longer existed.

"This is our first meeting." I said, turning slightly, watching violet eyes keep tears inside them. "My young Letter Bee, it appears you've mistaken me for someone else. Such blatant claims of me being a Letter Bee is ridiculous."

"That can't be! After all-"

_"Marauder." I asserted. _

"Marauder?"

"Your job as a Letter Bee is to deliver Letters, yes?" I said, my cloak and hair dancing under the sudden breeze that caressed by where we stood. "Our job - my job, as a Marauder, is to plunder them."

"Gauche...so you did lose your heart. That's it - I met Sylvette! Your precious little sister, Sylvette, remember?"

Sylvette - he knew her as well. My former sister. He knew a lot about me, it seemed - this was getting rather troublesome than I had expected.

"I do not wish to do you any harm." I said, turning and beginning to go on my way again. "Farewell, young Letter Bee."

"Wait! Gauche!"

Again, I halted my step.

"Sylvette's been waiting for you all this time!" He implored, clinging on to me. "Go home! Go home to Sylvette...And then there's Aria, and ...and Mana...There's everyone - everyone waiting for you to return, Gauche!"

His words were incomprehensible - blather I didn't understand. I pitied him inside, oddly; I was the shell of the man he was looking for, but he no longer existed.

"_I am what is known as a Marauder."_ I reproved, trying to make myself clear. I withdrew Gymnopedie and aimed; he was being too persistent for my liking, and it didn't seem he'd be giving up anytime soon. "My name is Noir."

I held back this shot; the amber of my gun glowed bright and a shot of black fired. It was enough to pin him to the ground momentarily, as I continued on my way, satisfied with what I'd collected today. Roda returned to my side from above the rocky sculptures.

* * *

"I've gotten enough for today." He whispered to me, keeping the letter he collected. "Let us return, Roda."

"Noir..."

"Yes?"

"It's unlike you to have to use force on a child." I expressed my curiosity. Today wasn't an ordinary day.

"I had to," He said. "It seems he knew Gauche Suede."

A Letter Bee that knew Gauche Suede - Noir's former identity. I couldn't help but be disturbed by such a thought, even if it was mild; Noir would eventually be a primary target for both his former and current identities. Regardless, however - I knew I would by his side, with him, protecting him - because I am his dingo. I always would be.

Super long chapter for this, it seems. The good stuff is about to happen, yeap.

Anyways, I've been really busy with life and school/college and with a recent promotion to go to London as a representative, so pardon me if I've not written a lot as of late.

**P.S I do not own Tegami Bachi. **


	8. Chapter 7: And So The Plan Begins

Chapter 7: And So The Plan Begins

On the way back, a messenger from Lawrence had ordered us to the south - apparently, Letter Bee activity was exceptionally avid, and would be for the next few days - overtime would thusly end up quite rewardingly. Apparently, our "special guests" had also arrived; Lawrence's spies in the capital that he'd mentioned, I presumed. I looked at Noir, still slightly concerned about our recent encounter, but he replied merely with a slight flick of the head, signifying he would adhere to Lawrence's request. I decided to ignore my doubts, as far as my concerns still clung relentlessly onto me.

We took a more quiet route, passing through Jose to the outer, unfurnished wastelands of Yodaka - although traveling there was time consuming. Yodaka, being the least privileged, was the least guarded, and being the furthest from the Hive, letters would be sent en masse, so I wasn't surprised we'd pick up quite enough on that day. I never really knew the purpose of the recent plundering, but Lawrence apparently seemed expectant of the experiments that would utilize them soon enough.

I admittedly wasn't myself that day, and I was certain I could blame it on that very disturbing encounter. That Letter Bee boy...there was a strange familiarity in him that I had - and I wondered if Noir felt it too. Moreso, I felt different during our mission. To our hearts never wavered for the misery we caused to whom we plundered from, I felt disturbed, for the first time in a long while. Was I doubting our purpose? Get a grip, I tried to reassure myself. We were rejected. We were neglected and abused. We needed to fight for ourselves. To right the wrong, to quell the bitter injustice of this unfair society. For that end - no sacrifice would be too great. I would find myself repeating Lawrence's words - words I've heard for years.

Above all, however - did Noir waver over that incident...at all?

We returned to the hidden church, where Marauders handed their loot due. Lawrence, whom would normally seem pleased by such matters, had a straight mouth for today - I allowed a moment of curiosity to wonder as to why, knowing however that now that we had completed our crucial mission, the time for us to strike had come.

"Good work," Lawrence uttered. "This will be more than enough. Most of what we need is ready - all that remains to wait for further news."

"And our guests?" Noir questioned. "I suppose you intend to use these in an effort to acquire...promising results."

"They are at the Hive, for their investigations." He replied. "They will provide me with their results tomorrow. And investigations to the north?"

"It will be slightly neglected, for the most part. The northern lands lack deliveries due to technical issues, or so I hear."

"I see." Lawrence examined Noir, slightly bothered. I began to worry - what would happen if he knew? I decided to keep silent, waiting in my desperation. "Did something happen?" The words emerged inevitably.

"...No." There was a small silence, before Noir replied emptily.

I knew he lied. Yet I somehow managed to shake my fuddled thoughts out of myself. Perhaps I was thinking too much the situation.

* * *

"I was one of the inventors of the airships, and should have been accepted into the capital, Akatsuki. But what happened there was merely an experiment for the little folk who benefit from the capital. Combining people with all matter of things - the quest for amplified spirit, an experiment to make artificial spirit! Their plan hit a roadblock, but the failures were all disposed of, thrown away like trash! And to that, only little of us remain, survivors of their wretched ideals. We are ones who cannot become spirit - we are living evidence! Stand for yourselves! Uncover the wretched truth of the government. We are Reverse!"

Chants of Reverse continued to echo. We would be like this, perhaps say once a week, where we would hear of Lawrence and his tales of the government's deceit. The number of supporters increased daily, the echoes and support growing extensively. I had observed the growth of Reverse since Lawrence took me in as a child, and it had grown to be quite a large, united force within the suffering people. And Noir - he was part of our cause as well.

* * *

They arrived, and I met them in person for the first time that afternoon - Caribs Garrard, a slender, Albisian man, and his large, well-built dingo, Hazle Valentine. They were the Marauders working for Lawrence in Akatsuki, and it appeared that their double crossing hadn't been found out yet. They managed to confiscate our reports and had brought him with the results of the experiments I've been hearing about. They evidently could offer a lot to Lawrence's cause, although perhaps their own motives coincided with Lawrence's; revenge, retribution. Hate can separate, but in this case, it can unite.

"The experiments catalyzing heart using spirit amber on letters and using them to lure Gaichuu...both ended in success. I see. Excellent work. As expected of the Marauders I had hidden in the capital. "

"The Hive will be guarding the south closely." Caribs said. "As expected, now would be most appropriate..."

"Just as you had asked, preparations are complete. The time has come. The rebirth of Amberground - Reverse."

Lawrence noticed us behind the shadows. His gaze itself managed to command us forth.

"To the north, Noir." He ordered. With their efforts centralized on guarding the southern lands, it seemed the time for the special mission had arrived.

"_Noir._" Caribs uttered, giving us an admittedly stale smirk. "Or should I call you...Gauche Suede?"

_Not again_, I thought. My concerns resurfaced. I was quite bothered by that name.

"Call me as you wish." Noir said. "Just don't expect me to be him by heart."

"Oh, really?" He said, rather insultingly. "Is that why everyone in the Hive's is looking for you now?"

I felt my hand clench, yet my fear overpowered my irritation. This is bad - they knew. Inevitably, Noir's existence had been reported...

"Tell me, Noir." Lawrence asked. "What happened on that day?"

I felt my heart race and my pulse become suffocating. I didn't like this conversation at all, but I couldn't move an inch although I wanted to leave the room, as if I forced the chatter in. And that of his answer...

"..._Nothing_." He uttered, blankly. "I simply met someone of my..._former _past. A boy. That's all it is."

"Right, the boy with the red amber." Caribs said. "They catch on quicker than we'd thought they would. Don't you think it would be...troublesome? Or do you now harbour second thoughts of things?"

"My allegiance lies with Reverse." He said, firmly. "I hide nothing from you."

"And to that we shall see, Noir." Lawrence smiled. "I trust your loyalty, but you would do yourself good to maintain my trust. Head to the north, where the cold smothers our final piece in the plan, and succeed in your crucial mission. A mission you alone have the power to fulfill."

"As you wish."

I wondered if I would be more relieved after our mission, again managing to overcome my thoughts after struggling to control them, departing with my master to the cold northern lands.

**Sooooooooooo.**

**Busy with life - in more bitter times. Exams are coming, but I figured I could write something before I proceed with my exams.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tegami Bachi. **


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